Personal transformations can happen in a very short time. I have seen people grow in confidence in front of my eyes during the many TOTs (training of trainers or facilitators) I have orchestrated during my many travels abroad. I have seen mousy and shy young women suddenly stand up straight, project their voices and confidently explain ideas and concepts that were completely new to them only a little while ago. As if I needed this assurance, it shows one should never give up on people and judge them by their cover.

I have been a happy witness to many such transformations all over the world: in Nepal, in Mongolia, in Ghana, in Kenya, in Cote d’Ivoire, in Madagascar, in Sierra Leone. It has been the most rewarding part of my career: seeing people liberate themselves from their self-imposed judgements that include self-talk such as “I can’t” or “I am not good enough.”

But the confidence that accompanies the transformation is a little fragile at first. Feedback and handholding are important for continuing the path that the transformation has indicated. Before I fly (at least physically) out of their lives, I look for ways or structures that will encourage continous reflection. We sit in a circle and talk about what went well, what could be improved and what was not a good practice. The quality of the feedback people give to each other usually gets better and better to the point that I have little to add. My part is to structure the conversation for safety and intimacy. The rest they do themselves.